Sancho Panza rides again
I have spent the last several hours, devoid of sleep, fretting about Blighty and my - as it turns out, ludicrous - suggestion that England would not beat Mexico and would be coming home. The ludicrous kick-off time, the determination that I was right and would still be disappointed, simply meant that I probably missed what was widely declared as one of the top five football matches in World Cup history, and I tip my hat and offer my respect to all who had the faith, stayed up and still went to work. As Aragorn said in his last scene in The Lord of the Rings, “My friends - you bow to no one”
For my own part, I fear I have become possessed!
Have I become a Mr Bennet, watching Lydia pack for Brighton, convinced that I understood the risks, only to discover that there was a George Wickham lurking just beyond the next page? “Who should suffer but myself? It has been my own doing.”
Perhaps I have, through some Buddhist rebirth, come back as Polonius and am now only capable of mistaking analysis for understanding: England had been playing badly - Mexico looked better organised; cogito ergo domum redeunt. Worse still, I fret that I am an Eeyore or a Private Frazer - all my predictions based on a permanent state of gloom, and simply waiting to be proved right, so that I can curmudgeon-like declare that “I’m not surprised!” The reality, and more apt in the Mexican sense, is that I have become a Sancho Panza character. Experience and probability told me that what I had seen meant England would be coming home - it was not wishful thinking, nor was I necessarily wrong. I am simply a victim of life’s inconvenient habit of delivering a truly improbable outcome.
We still won’t win - perhaps I am secretly hoping that I am some literary jinx on the worst of the Footballing Gods - but at least I am looking forward to seeing the Noggies version of the Haka.
I feel slightly sorry for young George Cottrell.
Madame and I have holidayed with his mother, Fiona and father, Mark, and I have met him at Ascot with his mum, when he was still at school - he seemed a nice enough cove. He is, as the newspapers all rather pruriently scream, “… a convicted criminal!!!!“ technically guilty of wire fraud, but the reality is far more nuanced. In 2014, while he was about 20 years old and before he had any association with UKIP or Nigel Farage, George had discovered the dark web and became involved in online discussions about anonymous payments, offshore structures and cryptocurrencies. Don’t forget this was the very early days of Bitcoin, Silk Road and the dark web (DW) economy. The DW was awash with enthusiasts fascinated by the technology, including some drawn for entirely legitimate reasons and others by its criminal possibilities.
George stupidly - and with the arrogant cockiness of a posh kid trying to make his own way in the world - fell into a sting being run on the DW by the FBI along the lines of “can anyone tell us how to launder a lot of cash - there’s something in it for you?”
George comes metaphorically screaming through the front door, telling the FBI he knows it all, and simply repeats all the discussions he has been involved in, passing them off as lived experience. The FBI suggested a trial $20k to see how it all worked. George, like a chump, said yes, and BINGO, the FBI had a high-profile, very well-connected (Mom is an Hon and Dad was at school with Pizzahouse Andrew) and then having carefully explained to George that he is going to be put in a high security cell and be rogered senseless by Leroy and his chums unless he cops a plea, gets banged up for eight months. I also happen to know that he taught the FBI everything he had learned on the DW, including his understanding of where they might usefully extend their combined IRS and FBI investigations.
So no criminals were ever actually involved - just a stupid, overly-educated kid. Secondly, George never actually laundered genuine drug money or earned substantial, or even any, profits from such activity. The prosecution's case was based upon his willingness to provide the service and the steps he took to facilitate what he believed was money laundering, rather than on a completed commercial laundering enterprise. But he was never charged with or found guilty of money-laundering - he was done on a charge of Wire Fraud.
As for Farage - and at the risk of inciting the ghost of Polonius to drop by, I think Farage will simply resign today from Parliament….
… and call a by-election, which he will fight - “let the people decide”.
This puts the watchdog on the back foot because I would guess that the financial declaration rules will reset to the last 12 months before he wins and is re-sworn, which loses all previous enquiries; it forces Burham and Starmer’s hand to call a General Election, perhaps, certainly raises the moral question, and would discomfort the Tories, whose CCHQ has been busy telling their few MPs to shut up about calling an election on cost grounds.
”They’re all doomed, I’m telling you; doomed!”