When I am swept to power on the outbreak of a Common-Sense Plague, one of the first things my Minister of Transport, Richard Hammond, will introduce, is a law that prevents motorway stoppages. Anyone blocking a motorway by having a breakdown or an accident, will be banned from driving and will be jointly responsible for all costs involved. Bulldozers will be placed every five miles of motorways and will simply sweep all accidents into the side of the road. No police will attend. All insurance claims will be based on the biggest car/lorry must be at fault. The penalty for driving without a licence or insurance would carry an instant on-the-spot penalty, involving being strung up from the nearest bridge or gantry as a warning to others. (Don’t bleat; it ended the Spartacus crisis for a couple of hundred years!)
People would pretty soon realise that they shouldn’t tailgate, drive badly, run out of petrol or worse, electricity, and also would remember to travel with the correct documents. It would have saved me about 30 minutes of travel time today. It would also have delivered me a much-needed Gin far earlier and mea maxima culpa for doubting it, an outstanding and delicious lunch.
My 18yo nephew, has become an adept in the kitchen and produced a brilliant lunch. We started with a simple, but so easy to cock-up, prawn and avocado cocktail, which he hadn’t. Then out came a Mechoui slow roast lamb with a Chermoula sauce and various other bits and pieces that were just brilliant. The shredded lamb was served on a sort of Zaalouk (a Moroccan dip or sauce with an aubergine and roasted tomato base) inside the original aubergine skins. These sat alongside little baby spiced roast potatoes and many more bits—every element of which was outstanding. When I write the details down in my Commonplace, which is what these scribbles might be considered, my mouth starts to produce the same taste sensations and memories from a dozen hours ago.
Again, when I rise to the highest office, I shall make all monies gifted to educate young gifted people tax-free. Had I the money, I would have offered him an immediate scholarship to one of the great Swiss Hotel training centres based purely on what he produced today. Actually, I might have bypassed that and just bought him a restaurant.
Do you detect some mellowing on my earlier position re Forest of Dean? Well, it is a bind to get to, and even a non-driver can recognise that most people shouldn’t be out in a car on a Sunday, but the locals don’t serve seaweed that I could see. Plus, a magnum of Cissac 2015 does tend to take the edge off a rough car trip.
A decent 12/1 winner at Fairyhouse gave us a profit on our Sunday racing tips, but Lando Norris never really recovered from his sidewall Q3 shunt, so whilst we were right about Leclerc, McLaren blew us out of the water. Overall, however, we remain up on the weekend as well as well-fed.
Talking of slaughtered lambs - here are the selections for a long and late-starting afternoon of racing.
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