Lockinge, Footy, Eurobitch... finally it's Saturday

It is one of the burdens of my life that many people see me as some sort of aesthete with a penchant for idleness, kummel, silk jammies and the occasional Cohiba Behike. Nothing could be further from the truth. I am often seen toddling off to the local for a Guinness, and occasionally I’ll meander to Lambourn’s Goodies - the Stablelads Caff - for a slimming breakfast, 10 items for £7. Yes, you’re right, I am a man of the people!

Thus, I am also aware that the FA Cup is on today. I am also aware that Portsmouth is not in the final, so I am not what might