Is Russia trying to sabotage the Lingfield Derby Trial or Conclave?

Be afraid - be very afraid!

I had a vision this evening as the black smoke plumed over St Peter’s Square. You might almost call it a revelation. That sometime on Saturday, the faithful and the gawkers, the nuns and the priests, the ex-choristers and the former lap dancers, would all look up into the sky and see this enormous fireball, heading for Rome.

“Ahh”, they might say, “Here is a divine sign from God, a message to guide the hands and souls of the Cardinals as they write the name of the new Pope.”

Depending on your philosophical view of the situation, they might be right because the yellow fireball is likely to be