Ireland today, Foie Gras tomorrow

I get so bamboozled these days by whether we are officially in Europe or Out.

If we are out of Europe, then we can’t eat Foie Gras - in which case, hundreds of Greens, PETAs, and Tree-huggers are thrilled but think we should be in Europe. However, if we are in Europe, then we have to eat Foie Gras and import veal in crates whilst drinking hares’ milk or somesuch, in which case everyone who hates the stuff - people who don’t like the 2001 Château d’Yquem perhaps or the 2000 Château Suduiraut with a bit of liver on toast, wants to leave. I think.

I only know this because today’s Grauniad told me the UK government is forgetting its manifesto pledge to ban foie gras imports (and has declined to stop fur imports), after the EU made these red lines in its discussions for a trade deal - which would be Step 1 in the long and very expensive road back into Macron’s bed. The whisper is that the UK was ready to drop the foie gras import ban, as there were other, higher-priority sticking points, such as precision breeding of crops. Ministers say that is more likely to boost the economy than banning imports of foie gras and fur.

Luckily, I have the last few jars either way… I’ll wait for a freezing day so I don’t have to buy any of Milliband’s grossly expensive electricity for my fridge, plunge the Sauternes into a bucket of snow, and wear my fox-skin coat, whilst eating foie gras and singing the Marseillaise!.

Well, you wouldn’t want a chap to starve.

Talking of starving, a tiny profit yesterday - barely enough for a chicken liver parfait stuffed mushroom on toast! Better luck today!