Confused - I know I am by Jove

You’re all too young to remember the fantastic vent, Ray Alan and his marvellous creation, Lord Charles, the monocled, always squiffy, slightly lecherous peer. I thought it was wonderfully funny, and I knew several people who appeared to base their persona on Lord Charles’s character. (A fond reminder of Ray Alan’s skills can be found HERE).

You can imagine my surprise when I received news that Lord Charles and his mate Alan had been made Chair of the BHA. Even by my low ironical standards, this seemed like a step that was not necessarily going in the right direction. On the other hand, he had probably backed a few nags in his life, might have owned some tail hairs in partnership with regimental or shooting chums and certainly understood the vital role of hospitality in keeping the racing industry’s wheels on track. Then I later realised my mistake - this chap was nothing like my Lord Charles but was, if possible, even shyer in the racing knowledge department. His connections? He had taught himself to ride and that he liked going racing.

There are actors aplenty out there who have been asked if they can ride and have said yes, only to be seen in the background, dragged screaming off-stage. Eddie Redmayne in Elizabeth I springs to mind. In a similar vein, I once committed a horrible folie de grandeur, turning up at some deb’s Norfolk estate, ostensibly for tea, as though I had just parked the matt black AC Cobra over the hill (my flatmate was waiting in a hotel up the road in case I didn’t pull). The beauty was startled - “Oh, I’m just going for a hack - would you like to join me?” The “I have no kit” died on my lips as she said, “You look about the same size as my dad; try his boots.”

I’ve always felt that one should avoid dying wearing another man’s boots, it’s so very Somme; but I was very nearly a goner when coming off at the first wall, some 20 yards from the stable yard. Unencumbered by the Folly of Youth, Dobbin jumped like a stag, then disappeared, did a circuit of the not-inconsiderable parkland and arrived back 20 minutes later looking for a rub-down and a bit of bran. I limped off back o’er the hill, to collect the mythical car and promised to call her when I returned to London. I didn’t; she didn't notice, and years later, she turned out to be a perfectly pleasant lesbian who bred some equine rarities to the benefit of the nation.

However, despite this wealth of National Hunt experience, I was not offered the role of Chair of the BHA, but luckily, I can help. Historically, the BHA’s Lord Charles has been hired because he is a mediator and negotiator who delivers consensus. So, let me explain his inheritance by way of a welcome gift, just in case it helps.

Only two groups matter in racing - the rest of the noise is just the Doppler effect of the broadcast static from various subsidiary bodies. (With the Doppler effect, the pitch changes the closer the noise gets!) The two principals are Racecourses and Owners. The Racecourses put the show on and provide the prize money. They get that money from Bums on Seats, Sponsors, Media Rights and the Levy.

The Owners have the horses obs but are ultimately responsible for vets, jockeys, stablestaff, salesrooms, bloodstock agents, box drivers, farriers, charities, Christmas cards, carol concerts - in fact pretty well everything NOT on a racecourse is or ends up being the Owners responsibility. Yes, I know the stable lads are essential, and the box drivers are too, as are the physios, but they are not owners, and they are not paying the bills.

Then there are the Bookmakers, who in May 1961 were allowed to open betting shops in the high street. At the time, we also had a PMU-style operation, The Tote, which operated only on racecourses but was then also allowed to operate on the high street in 1961. There were over 15,000 betting shops back then, but there are now less than 6,000 since the purge of COVID-19 and the rise in online gaming, High Street rates and rentals. The arrival of the Internet, the advertising ban, the change in the law to allow mixing Casino-style operations with sports betting websites and the growth of overseas sports betting, casino and lottery markets as Governments try to raise tax revenues from Betting levies have all conspired to make UK horseracing considerably less relevant now than at any time in the past 80 years. However, the bookmakers are still legally obliged, under creakingly old-fashioned law, to pay a levy of 10% of profits over and above the first £500k to the Horserace Betting Levy Board, which then decides how the approximately £105m is distributed in development grants, loans and prize monies. The bookmakers think it beastly unfair that they should pay… because they sponsor races, and where would we be without them? Seriously, My Lord Charles, we have been fed, eaten and suckled on the bones of this argument since 1962, and there are now big fat bookmakers and very scrawny racecourses as a result.

Then to confuse matters further, the racecourses are split between three groups - the Jockey Club, ARC (Arena Racing Co.) and the Independents (e.g. Ascot Goodwood Newbury) who hold various interests in two media rights companies responsible for handling the sale of their data, picture etc etc. These are The Racecourse Media Group (primarily Jockey Club racecourses) and The Racing Partnership (primarily ARC which is owned by the Reuben brothers). These two companies have then negotiated with the bookmakers as to how much they will receive each year in media rights fees, which they then distribute to their various racecourses. The problem in that system, is that neither ARC nor the JC knows what the other is charging the bookies, not indeed how much is making its way into the prize money system. Even more contentious, the Owners don't know how much the Racecourses are creaming off from the media rights, which primarily feature the horses paid for by the Owners.

Now, Charles - have you noticed? Nowhere have the words British Horseracing Authority been mentioned - because it is, in the end, a bewildering body that does what? How do any of its decisions actually TRULY impact on any of the above status quo? They can provide the rooms for the various powers to gather in. They can play a Health and Safety card and say whether a racecourse has enough ambulances. They can decide that a horse was or wasn’t struck behind nine or ten times and review the race, until we have all forgotten why we were there in the first place. But where does it actually have the power to decide that we would be immeasurably stronger in the long term, financially more stable and more cost-effective if we worked together with one united partnering voice? We cannot even agree on how to effectively market racing, with the result that after fifteen years, we have squandered a huge amount of money to stand still in KPI terms. But wait - I’m forgetting that we do have Premier Meetings - which a new report has suggested doesn’t work.

I fear that without a major overhaul and a willingness to sacrifice ground, Lord Charles will end up being consigned to the strongest knee in the room with either an Arc or Jockey Club arm up his back and saying, “Gritish Horseracing and Gludstock is the gest inna world”.

Talking of never being entirely in control of one’s destiny… here are the tips for Friday at Cheltenham.