I meant to give you all a couple of Health, Safety & Chagrin-avoidance notices the other day regarding modern weddings. I was blissfully unaware of two things which are now apparently de rigeur.
The first was my being caught out by the Bride and Groom’s arrival at The Wedding Breakfast, their first social engagement as a married couple. The new thing is for them to run down the aisles, or around the room’s table layout, as the guests stand and whoop, waving their napkins around above their heads. At a biggish wedding, that can easily be 150m, so about three minutes of running, waving, hollering, and whooping. Think Greco-Italian wedding, taking place on the first hole of a USA Ryder Cup. Secondly, and this might be age rather than wedding specific, but it seems expected that one dances with one’s partner on one’s shoulders. I suspect that this is limited to young couples with some intimate connection. Personally, I would urge you to avoid, saying to the Mother of The Bride, “Would you like a dance?” and then hoiking her onto your manly shoulders, when the last time you hoiked was back in 1985 at Live Aid. I am not being judgemental. Everyone likes a good whoop, just be prepared, don’t look startled, or start drawing your concealed Pepper Spray.
Talking of a lack of awareness, The Prime Nincompoop
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