Just in case you were wondering whether rampant corruption is now omnipresent in the state, let me tell you about my new front door. The dimensions of my door are in round figures, 5½ ft wide - 8 ft high and 4” deep. It will cost me £10k + some £300 delivery, and some bits, call it £11k. A magnificent door, fit for a castle or at least a stately home.
However, obviously if I decide to proceed with the project, I need to agree with Madame, that the door will fit into the general 1970s feel of the Château d’If, a detached house in the Lambourn back streets. Furthermore, she will have to understand that we will need to widen the entire current aperture and fit new supporting steels to the front of the building. This will also require us to put in new windows (3) and as we’re making the change, perhaps we should change them for reclamation windows. I have budgeted £4,000 for each of those. The building works will amount to some £75,000 and with contingencies I’m allowing £105k.
Now I’m fully anticipating Madame saying, “WTF — for that sort of money we could get a new house!” I shall gently tell her that we can’t. However, because I love and adore her and if she has her heart set on it, we can write off the current £750k house, via a quick call to Lady Bamford’s husband and explain we’d like our current house JCBeed and taken away.
Then we could buy a complete new house for a turnkey cost of £598k. The one above, in fact, is precisely that sum. Coupled with the loss of the old house (750k) and the 11k for the new door (and please keep in mind I’ve saved myself all that reconstruction and window widening work… phew), my total costs are £1.4m. For that, I have trashed one four-bedroom house, built a five-bedroom house and saved an enormous antique door.
Back in Lala Land, chums and relations no longer sit in the Upper House. So they are probably unaware that in 2022, it was decided that the front doors to the Peer’s Entrance to parliament (i.e. the ones in the picture behind Lords PC and Plod and their two mates) needed to be renovated for security reasons. The stated and agreed budget was £2m. In 2023, it had become £7m. Presumably the increase in NI, the transport costs using only electric, or the wiring for the door chime had all been miscalculated. Because it has just been announced that the final bill is £9 million…. to renovate the doors.
Do not tell Madame, who believes that most people in power are either corrupt, or too stupid to control corruption. Please let me know if there is another explanation.
Talking of wildly exaggerated financial claims and rocketing unbudgeted costs….
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